Pages

Friday, June 24, 2016

UFO: Unidentified Fetid Object


As we drag our weary arses towards the end of another term...

How was it that at the beginning of this term Pinkster and I were walking to school every day and we were not just on time, but early most days?

And now we're just making it before the bell, and sometimes not and that's with me driving the whole 980 meters?

Why are we so disorganized with homework all of a sudden? why do I have to lever her fingers off the iPad with growing frequency?

Why is it I cannot leave my child watching Horrible Histories so I can get some work done in my office, without coming down to the living room 30 minutes later to find it's been hit by a craft tornado?
Scissors, paper, string and googly eyes are sticky taped to everything. The living room rug has become a storage facility.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

Phyllis Diller once said: "cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing"

Truer words were never spoken.
In my usual post-child's-bedtime-clear-up,  that would be the one completed around two hours after the craft tsunami clear-up, I was digging the remote control and some playing cards out from where they had been sat-squashed behind the sofa cushions.

I not only found my long missing nail clippers, the ones that actually cut, rather than chew off fingernails, and I found this UFO (Unidentified Fetid Object) pictured above (and in part below).

I couldn't tell what is was, without my reading glasses and I couldn't identify it by touch. It was just a mass of black stringy crispiness.

See if you can guess from this next picture:

Unidentified Fetid Object
I always thought I was quite a good housekeeper.
I'm fairly fussy; or so I thought.
And I swear I only had all the seat cushions off the sofa to wash their covers a couple of weeks ago.

Still there it was, with a number of other delights, most of them teeny tiny toys - the sort that get Hoovered up when someone smaller than myself mistakes the living room rug for a storage receptacle.

I'm now blaming everything on End of School Term:

The melt-downs  (her's and mine),
the tardiness,  (lets not name and shame on this one)
the inability to get out of bed  (I only wish it were her's),
the growing addiction to mind-numbing distractions  (her's with that bloody iPad)
the increasing desire for alcohol   (definitely mine - she's going heavier on the milk though)
the nagging (me mostly, but she'll put in a good effort the minute I answer the phone)
the short fuses unleashed upon the pets  (her's more than mine - except when I'm trying to work and the cat insists on taking a stroll across my keyboard- why cant she just curl up on the printer?)

So a week off end of term I feel as always like the wheels are coming loose on our family cart.
However, considering we drive past so many parents walking their children, and only halfway up the hill, to school on those very late morning's - I know its not just me pushing the pain barrier.

How is end of term working out for you?  
Leave me some comments to let me know I'm not the only one going mad - please?



leaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/p/phyllisdil400596.html

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. Phyllis Diller
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/p/phyllisdil400596.html
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. Phyllis Diller
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/p/phyllisdil400596.html
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. Phyllis Diller
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/p/phyllisdil400596.html
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. Phyllis Diller
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/p/phyllisdil400596.html
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. Phyllis Diller
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/p/phyllisdil400596.html
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. Phyllis Diller
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/p/phyllisdil400596.html
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. Phyllis Diller
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/p/phyllisdil400596.html

No comments:

Post a Comment