A Guest Post by the Pinkster:
God damn it! What the heck is wrong with me?!
How did I come
to be hiding in a dark car park, sobbing uncontrollably when just 30 minutes ago
I was telling myself, utterly convinced; “you
have SO got this”.
Let me back up just a little.
I didn’t exactly breeze into my piano recital this
afternoon. But as the sun went down and the line-up of small musicians went
through their cute and often clunky performances I started feeling the bar was
restricted to a manageable level. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Old MacDonald,
Mary had a little lamb, and the more sinister Mary ate her little lamb, were
performed at varying lengths and levels of proficiency and nervousness.
But let me just say, they were all so very cute especially
the one little guy playing his entire piece with his right thumb.
So what nervous tension I felt, slowly disappeared as I
watched these adorable mini-muso’s quietly announce their pieces in shy voices
before strutting their stuff.
I waited patiently as we worked through the program getting
closer to my turn. I was ready I’d practised Beethoven’s Für Elise until I
could almost play it backwards. “I have so got this”
My mum was proud as, reminding me in whispers how glad she
was I skipped the whole Twinkle Little Stars bit and jumped straight into Evanescence’s
My Immortal.
Thanks for that kick start YouTube!
So, it was getting close, only one more performer and it was
my turn.
Then this little guy marches on to the stage shoulders back
with an expression like a stern bank manager about to tell someone they didn’t
qualify for a mortgage. His voice was strong and confident as a presidential nominee
confident of being elected.
My name is Ruben Sledinowski* and I am six years old. I will
be playing Beethoven’s sonata 27 in E minor.
What the flock?!!
Talk about a change of pace. Just his
expression and his voice was enough to scare me to bits.
He hit that piano with fingers on fire burning up the
ivories, with a jaw dropping performance.
I swear Beethoven was rolling in his grave shouting “I never played that
good!”
At first, I was in awe.
Then a sinking feeling started to
creep over me: “I am the follow-up act to baby Beethoven.”
I started to shake, I told mum: “I don’t want to do this, we
have to go..” WHAT HAPPENED TO FLIPPING MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB?!
That’s when my music teacher called my name. All the blood
ran from my face. My knees were shaking so much I could barely WALK. When I was
about to press the first note all of Mini-Beethoven’s notes came flooding back
to me - every single note that wasn’t mine.
My hands couldn’t move. I tried to play what I could, but my
fingers didn’t land in the right places; they forgot where they belonged.
It was ghastly.
It was torture.
So I hid in the car park until intermission.
Then I needed comfort food.
Like an ambulance driver, Mum rushed me to Woolworth's, if
we’d had sirens and lights on the Toyota they’d have been blazing.
I was so shell-shocked, ignoring the huge box of chocolate
chip cookies already in the trolley, I wandered off and came back with
Pringles.
Spaghetti Bolognaise flavour no less.
I couldn’t wait; I opened them as soon as
they were scanned. Hmm different.
I could actually taste tomato, onions, mozzarella and MEAT!
I offered one to mum while she was getting her credit card out to pay.
I swear you can feed my mum anything while she’s digging in
her purse. She just opens her mouth automatically.
She bit into it and promptly spat out, almost spraying the
cashier guy’s face; “Oh God, that’s just so wrong.”
She looked like she was going to barf and kept sticking out
her tongue and muttering “so wrong” still digging for her card.
I started laughing and the cashier guy grinned trying really
hard not to.
I guess chips really aren’t supposed to taste like meat, but
tonight it seemed just right.
*Ruben's name has bee changed to protect his genius
